Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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