Umm I'm too high to move.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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