it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
they need to just BURY HIM!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
