the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize