Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
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That's how twitter works, right?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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