So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
