one might say we're banned from that church
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
