she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
