She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
