How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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