I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
