Fuck appropriateness.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
