There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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