Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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