My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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