Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Panties = found
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
