Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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