my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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