that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My liver just had a heart attack.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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