Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
