That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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