Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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