super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Randomize
