umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
