Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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