I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
