she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
