Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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