why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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