Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize