Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
