She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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