.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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