I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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