school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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