they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize