Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
