So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
