Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
