i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
