ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
