The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
