what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
