I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
