Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
