i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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