so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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