is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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