You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
