I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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