I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
