i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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