The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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