Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
