You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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