It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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