Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
