Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
